Dear Theresa May,
your tightrope walk is nearly at an end. Don't think too much about the sucking pit of darkness down below. Those wishing you to fall are wavering themselves. It seems the ERG are not armed with a decent blowpipe after all. It's only bird-bolts which have been deployed (dried peas if I'm any judge and which have bounced off your patootie).
Yours with no great admiration but a deal of sympathy
Honest John Clemmeridge
p.s. The rope may stretch a little after March and shrink to the radius of some chicken-wire - but do go on AND DON'T LOOK DOWN!
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